I miss him something wicked. I can’t believe that it looks like what we had is over for no reason I know or understand. At the same time, I would rather be damaged than brokenhearted. I wish and hope, but I will be fine. Booked a vacation in Jamaica with K, a “man free weekend”, which will mostly be me continuing drinking and pretending the outside world does not exist. It feels like I’m way too levelheaded right now, but then again, I am most of the time. If nothing else, I’ll always have the memories, and I am so incredibly fucking lucky to have had him in my life for this long. I think I’ll go sit outside on my balcony, drink, smoke, listen to music and cherish the moment. Maybe I’ll even let go.